A Cup of Tea and an Apology

The Word, The Way, The Truth & Tea :)

 

Did I tell you that my family has a secret tea recipe? You start by pouring milk and sugar into a pan of hot water and bring it to a boil. Add crushed black pepper and if available, the famous Darjeeling tea leaf, Lopchu. (Alternately, you can use crushed cardamom or ginger, cinnamon powder or bay-leaf). Boil until the color of the tea turns a mellow brown. Serve hot (myself, I prefer cold tea in the summer heat). 

Our parents instilled the love of tea in us from an early age. By now, I am really a tea-person. Not only is making tea an exercise in meditation if you do it purposefully, but sipping it slowly, savoring the taste and aroma, is therapeutic. One needs a comfortable space, maybe a phone or a book and silence to enjoy tea the Zen way. Measured, steady sips. No sound or gurgles. Just sip, sip until it drips like elixir unto your taste buds. People bond over tea as well. 

Tea, conversation and snacks can make family-time and the outdoors refreshing. 

As mentioned in the previous blog, the morning had been a fiasco: mum was hurt and angry with me and she had determined not to soften at my bidding. I quickly thought of a solution: serve her tea after she was done with her bath. I did so gently because she was still smarting from my verbal attack. 

After she had sipped to the dregs, I surreptitiously went over, touched her feet and asked for forgiveness a second time-this time wholeheartedly. She hugged me and reassured me of her forgiveness. 

I felt happy and at peace after receiving mum's pardon. I tell myself that I won’t repeat such behavior but I know I can be harsh and make mistakes all over again. Yet, I have the facility to apologize. What happens when we open up our hearts to seek and give more love? Hurt is guaranteed when we are vulnerable but we will learn from our mistakes. When we love we can face rejection any number of times, but we won’t be poorer for it. 

A cup of tea prepared lovingly and delivered to mum softened her stance. And my apology helped clear the misunderstanding. I understand that my education and grooming alone do not make me worthy if I can’t respect my parents. My rough, jagged edges have been smoothened a lot. If a person grows up with kindness and love, his face is soft and kind, too-most often than not. The harshness in my own gaze has faded (my brother has his private joke about my eyes turning “lovey-dovey” after I fell hard in love). Love from parents, siblings and Universe “HE” has helped me heal from the constant pain of people-pleasing and seeking validation.  I used to feel unworthy before if I said “no” but now I have set my boundaries. 

The surest way to break your heart is to let people trample all over you. No wonder we are advised to guard our hearts. To be innocent as doves and wily as serpents. We must love but discerningly. A cup of tea has its flavors and aroma and the best kind of tea happens when you mix the ingredients in the right proportion and bring it to a long, slow boil to make it a deep brown concoction. Serve hot for effect. 

Similarly, our characters have different traits-some good, others bad, yet still others, excellent. We must constantly look within and see what prevails in our hearts. When we understand our natures better, life will throw tests at us. Often, we will fail but as we start figuring out life and its intricacies, our purpose-how best we can contribute to the world around (it starts with discovering our passions), we can serve a treat to ourselves-a cup of warm, liquid love that will soothe our soul and flow outwards toward people who need our type of love. Tea anyone? With a huge dose of love and and yes, perhaps, an apology.   

 

Meditations

 

The best kind of love is unconditional. As human beings this might be tough to practice though with supernatural grace, we can master such kind of love. Our heart of stone needs to be replaced by a heart of flesh. This kind of surgery is performed only in the heavenly realms. With great pain comes great change. Learn lessons about what pain is trying to teach you. Even if we cannot understand why we are aching we can learn how to bear our suffering gracefully (we should try to remove the pain but sometimes it’s impossible to do so). Suffering can break, soften and mold us into a character of sterling gold. Accept both joy and suffering. That’s the way to break into love.